Editing or revising suggestions

For Joyce:
I think that you could read over your article again and pay attention to the conjunction problems and then revise it. You stated out the summary and the reflection in a separable way and that made it quite clear. However, you could think of another way to connect each paragraph.

For Dimitri:
You had given the examples of the benefit of using the computer to support the article and I think that it was great. You might think of changing some singular forms into plural forms. I do not have any suggestion for your revising work; however, you could minimize the summary if you want to.

For Ocean:
The sentences in your article are mostly long, and I think that you might think of breaking those sentences into shorter ones. By doing so, it would become easier for the readers to read and thus, have better understanding. In addition, separating your article into different paragraph would be a good choice. It provided readers an easier way to distinguish from the summary and your own reflection.

For Candy:
In the first paragraph, there is a sentence that sounded weird to me; it seemed that you did not finish the sentence. ( “ To think of the main sentence, thesis statement, supporting point of views and conclusion.” ) I think that you might read the article again and correct some spelling mistakes and also check out if you want to add some missing words into your article. By the way, at the very beginning, you stated out the source of the article, and that was cool.


For Wang Chen Sin:
You might want to correct some of the spelling mistakes and reconsider to put some conjunctions in the article. In addition, also think that if you want to change some singular nouns into plural ones. To make the article smoother, you might read it over again and then revise it.

For Claire:
In the first paragraph, I could not understand the sentence: “ how to combine their thought unfolded into many audience rather than sole instructors” and so could I not understand this one: “ so it’s human to decide the writing not form do decision of us” in the last paragraph. There are some spelling mistakes that you might want to change them, and furthermore, also add some prepositions in some places.

For Yi-Ju Chen:
You combined the article with the knowledge that you had learned in class and that was cool. There are some spelling mistakes that you might want to change them. In the last paragraph, you did point out your point of views. I think that your work is fine already. You can just think about how to make it better and better.

For Elsa:
With most of the ideas that had been mentioned in the original article that you were revising, you had stated your own ideas, too. You might want to change some of the tense in the article. At the end, you had pointed out most students’ problem: not knowing how to think out of the box. However, to tell the truth, I am not quite sure if the last paragraph was needed.

For Vivi:
You had added some of your own experience in the reflection and that was cool. Furthermore, you had stated your point of view in the last paragraph and that corresponded to the condition of a good reflection. However, there are some tense and grammatical problems that you might want to consider changing them.

For Roxy:
It is for sure that the Internet offers us lots of information so that it is more convenient for us to find the sources that we need on it. First of all, I think you might change the word “ internet” into “ the Internet.” There are a couple of tense problems that you might want to correct them. Furthermore, you forget to add conjunction between nouns. I think that your summary is cool.